Hello Miss Dolly,
Since before you arrived at Zeck I’ve been meaning to send you my thoughts and perspectives on submission (and dominance) – given that is the central theme between us… For us to get along, be happy and grow I believe it is imperative that we understand each others perspective on submission and dominance, friendship and co-habitation.
I’d also hope for us to keep an open, honest and ongoing dialogue, so as to prevent any frustrations, misunderstandings or anxieties that might simmer between us that might cause this special connection to breakdown. Please tell me if I do so something (s) that may annoy or disturb you or anything that may make you uncomfortable, please. My desire is to make this a home, and very very much want to make you incredibly happy and incredibly comfortable here… It is now your home.
Essentially to date it is has been wonderful and enlightening… You make me smile, a lot. I believe this type of lifestyle is more than just a lark, or a game, or a hobby, or part time – I believe it is a serious interaction between 2 like minded people with extremely similar viewpoints. It is about 2 people playing off each other to make each other stronger - even though those viewpoints are approached from 2 separate and distinct angles (the dominant side and the sub side).
(As promised a few weeks back, I will send you my thoughts on how strength comes from submission – my thoughts are just about formulated).
Although I did not necessarily seek this bond out to this degree, I am genuinely happy it has evolved as it has - and after some reflection it is not all that odd that our paths crossed and we made this connection. It is also not odd that this connection was advanced and pushed forward to this level by you – it was only natural – you being the naturally dominant and me just naturally and willingly abiding by your wishes and desires. After more reflection, it could not have happened any other way, it makes me smile.
Without anticipating or planning for the events with you of the past few months I wrote this to Lauren a few months back; it is a higher level insight to me and a good starting point for what I want to try to say, some excerpts:
… – but from the highest level let me try to capture it succinctly:
I think you know me a bitJ – I am essentially not a submissive person. I am an intelligent, goal oriented individual who at times is a bit aggressive in pursuit of these goals - all good qualities I believe.
Submission to me is not about short-term immediate thrills or gratification performed randomly. Regarding my submission - it is so much more – it is a way of life – a special way of life - a way of life that I fully intend to continue for quite some time and continue to grow with – with people or person of like minds.
Serious submission (and dominance) is a very special thing for a select few people in this world. I feel it can provide a wide range of benefits. One of which – and I had mentioned this to you in the past – is that serious submission provides me with strength and completeness - such a good thing.
You were instrumental in this evolution and growth that now continues (my reference to her about growth was about you Miss Dolly). I was never quite sure you fully understood…
People, you and I, are affected in the world around us, by the daily interactions of everyday life. This affects our moods, our demeanor, our actions and behaviors.
We all experience days of high spirits and low spirits, days being melancholy and days of euphoria, days of being talkative and days of being an introvert – we can’t help it, we are all human.
The causes and frequency of these moods that we all experience contribute to each and everyone’s own unique individuality, personality and character.
To that effect, I will always, everyday, try my best to be sensitive and understanding to your moods, your feelings, your emotions and energy levels – taking the time not to be overbearing with you and not to intrude into your current frame of mind and providing you the privateness and solitude you’ll need at times. By way of example, if I am in an extended submissive state and you are not in a dominant state, I need to understand this and will do my best.
My life is just a bit complex, with varying degrees of enjoyment, satisfaction, frustration and stress etc., causing my moods to shift. I need to mange and integrate these moods and feelings with my strong and now growing feelings of submission, caring, devotion and concern for you…
If I can, let me further define my various states of mind. I can vary from being in that extended submissive state - being incredibly submissive and weak, wanting/needing to grovel, adore, worship you and be beat and tortured by you (I believe you’ve been witness to thisJ) - to being a bit sarcastic and playful with you, with many moods in between.
(At times with you, the extended submissive state can just be overwhelming – and you seem to know just how to put me there.)
I so want you to know that regardless of my state, which can vary from day to day, hour to hour or even minute to minute, my overall and overriding submission to you does not and will not change – being in an extended submissive state or aggravated by life’s events. Also by way of example, if I am in non-submissive state, that in no way suggests that I am not still completely submissive to you.
I will venture to say that your states of mind change as well. I’ve seen you in an overbearing dominant mood (sometimes I feel the pain…) to being quiet and introspective, which is something quite the opposite and a normal and very expected way of life. I actually enjoy watching and witnessing your various states – it reveals so much about the person I adore…
This goes along the lines of balance in life, which is so incredibly important to maintain. I’ll always respect you, treat you like a princess, and have life focus on you.
Further thoughts on dominance / submission:
For me, submission is derived from mutual respect; I view submission as somewhat sophisticated and complex, not just a random, aimless superficial barrage of derogatory comments and actions. Those actions, in my opinion should be calculated and carried out with purpose and/or thought (at least most times…J).
During the first few days I thought you thought the more disrespectful you were to me the more you’ll control me and the more submissive I’ll become – it had the opposite effect - my submission for you was waning and I questioned why I agreed to this.
That is not the case now – I am elated you are here.
I do want to comment on the very noticeably different manner you now have regarding showing respect and courtesy for me, our house, our time, yourself and just in general… You are so classy, charming, admirable and exquisite – it is just so marvelous being around you – I am so lucky. It is so incredibly pleasing – you really are wonderful – and the destruction of me continues.
I so appreciate your thoughtfulness: your disposition toward the house, not allowing Aries to leave her “friends” bag, appreciate how you introduce me to people – not in a derogatory way, but a respectable warm way… letting me know you’re not coming home… signs of respect.
Your signs of respect in no way compromise your dominance and control over me – it actually significantly enhances your dominance, your control, makes it stronger, more sophisticated… more desirable… the destruction does continue.
In your so exceptionally special dominant ways and along with your spectacularly special beauty; the more of you I am exposed to, the more and more submissive I become - the more I desire to do for you and the more I desire to worship and adore you – and always always respect you…
I am not trying say that random or planned beatings and slaps are disrespectful or not wanted. Please continue to do as you please to/with me - when you please - whether it is beatings, spitting, slaps, torture, tying me, dragging me on a leash (with any part of me), putting me in the cage or a cage or whatever pleases you.
I am trying to say I so appreciate your attitude toward me from a broader perspective (an adult perspective), relating to living and interacting with each other and other people – it creates further submissiveness.
I am also coming to trust you more and more and more. Trust is something that has always taken time for me, much time, and is so very important to me - but many times in the past it has just simply eluded me. (It takes 10 years to build trust and just 10 seconds to ruin it…) For another time I’ll write you my thoughts on trust – because I believe trust is truly one of the great benefits that come from the “dungeon” (or a dominant / submissive bond). If that trust can transcend outside the “dungeon space”, then an incomparable state of mind has been reached by 2 people that is matchless and achieved by very few people…it is special and it can be so incredibly rewarding.
So in the dungeon, outside the dungeon, in the extended submissive state, or outside the extended submissive state – do with me as you please, do whatever you want, whenever you want – because that indeed does reinforce the dominant / submissive bond and your control. Please never stop being you - you are as close to perfect as anyone can be – in so many aspects both inside and out. I want to make you happy…
I guess I am trying to say in an overall or from a top level perspective, mutual respect is a very good attribute for us to have – and if that exists all the wonderful things in and out of the “dungeon” can be accomplished in this wonderful bond that we are developing. All the tactics and techniques, the beatings, the control and all else will just grow and grow and grow.
As I get to know more and more of the fabulous Miss Dolly (and by the way Madeleine too) I am gaining insight to your personality, your emotions and temperament, your highs and your lows – and my comment is – you are truly a wonderful person – with deep thoughts and emotions, caring, sensitive, with deep feelings and strong motivations.
As well as your submissive, I am your friend and you are mine - I’ll always treat you with the utmost respect, I’ll always be your friend, someone to trust, someone to count on and confide in, someone you can depend on and someone who’ll never judge you and will always be at your side (ok, maybe your feet) and be incredibly supportive of your life, your goals and your ambitions… I’ll try to make you smile…
I’m someone who’ll cater, care and provide comfort for you. My feelings are that I truly am your submissive, not necessarily a slave, which in my view is a much deeper, much stronger bond than a slave… the destruction does indeed continue.
You are beautiful – inside and out – nothing but the best for you.